Kevin Acers

I lose myself in daydreams of a sheep- throwing contest on the moon. Distance wins points. Bonus points are earned for every sheep that lands upright and magically prances away, launching itself with strange floating grace. Is there, somewhere, an animal whose mind drifts to thoughts of a similar sport involving the likes of me, […]

Wistfully I long for the day when the Emperor of America forgoes the affairs of state and instead sits all night at his lamp-lit desk absorbed in composing sonnets in tribute to a girl he’d admired as a schoolboy. Sipping peppermint tea, lips silently moving as he tries out tentative phrases, he’ll tap on his